Showing posts with label Great Deal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Great Deal. Show all posts

Friday, February 18, 2011

Original Mom's Pizza Burgers Fried Chicken Gyros: "I wanna hang out here all the time."

is basically like a Crown Fried Chicken and I totally love it! It is this totally grimy joint on Avenue D and Houston that has kind of weird pizza but is awesome. Our table we sat at was totally crooked, there was an obvious cigarette smell wafting out of the kitchen, the employees were these older Puerto Rican dudes listening to Cindy Lauper, and they had decent coffee. Plus their slice is two dollars and they are open until midnight. Seriously, this place was so rad to be inside. The guys working behind the counter knew everyone that came in by name except for us. This is kind of like Johnny's uptown except instead of the Perfect Pizzeria it is the Timeless Urban Greasy Spoon. I will definitely be returning, but I probably won't bother with the pizza again.

This slice was BIG. Definitely a huge slice for $2.00. But it wasn't cooked very well. There was a tangible layer of raw dough just hanging out in the middle of the slice. And it was really salty. Me and Bill thought it tasted like school lunch pizza. A few bites in I said I thought it tasted like Elio's or any other brand of supermarket pizza, but Steve and Bill just screwed up their faces and looked at me askance. "I guess, really, the only thing similar is that it's not cooked all the way. Because whenever I get those frozen pizzas at the supermarket I never have the patience to leave them in the toaster long enough and I always pull them out and eat them when some of it is still cold in the middle."

Whatever, this pizza wasn't very good, but I like this place a lot. And they do their advertising on a garbage can!


Original Mom's Pizza Burgers Fried Chicken Gyros - $2.00
15 Ave D (2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10009

Monday, January 17, 2011

Breaking pizza news! Ray's v. 99¢ Fresh!

I'll fill this post in with pictures and more details later tonight, I just got called in for a work emergency. But for the record, in case anyone urgently needs to know what I think about Ray's dropping their slice down to 75 cents to compete with a dollar slice place across the street: I approve. I'm sitting at Ray's right now, I've just eaten at both planes and Ray's wins this one by a long shot. More details tonight after I take care of this situation at work.


I'm not sure if you guys saw the giant pizza-shaped light in the sky last night, Mayor Bloomberg was responsible, he was shining the Slice Signal to get my attention. I noticed, of course, because I was out mooning myself on my roof. Luckily there is a baked bean can in my room with a string through the bottom that leads directly to the tomato soup can in the Mayors office, so I got on the horn and quickly found out that there was a war going on in Midtown and he needed my peace-keeping efforts. So first thing this afternoon, after awakening from my daily siesta, I mounted the saddle of my riding ostrich and headed into the Very Civilized Burough of Manhattan to tend to the crisis.

And what a crisis it was! Famous Original Ray's was flying its war flag:

75¢ Pizza Slices! Run! Hide! Actually in typical shitty F.O.R. fashion, they charge tax on their 75¢ slice. So just like their "$2.75" slice is actually $3.00, their 75¢ slice is actually 82¢. But that's still really cheap so I'll stop complaining there.

Okay, this slice wasn't so bad, and for 82¢ it fucking RULED. This is the first sub-$1 slice of pizza I've ever had that I don't feel compelled to put in a separate category. This is actual pizza! And Ray's cheapened their operation by making their slices a lot smaller, not by skimping on the ingredients, which are still totally mid-grade. The funny thing is, my big beef with Ray's in the past has been that their slices have always been too doughy to cook properly. The crazy reality is that by dropping their price, and the size of their slice, they have actually made their pizza better! Kudos to you, congratulations. The only drawback is, of course, that this is a F.O.R. slice, so the sauce tastes like total crap. But it's easy to drown that in garlic powder or whatever and then this still rules for the price. I'm not sure how long this deal is going to last, but it's a good one.

99¢ Fresh Pizza across the street did not seem to be fairing well in the face of their competition. When I went inside there everyone seemed really depressed and bummed out. And I can see why. The pizza they are serving is garbage!

This slice was also tiny. It had that crappy frozen-dough flavor of most dollar places, and the weird unplaceable aftertaste in the sauce that tastes like a fart. This is pizza I wouldn't be BUMMED to eat on tour, but wouldn't be thrilled about either. It wasn't terribly offensive, and it only cost a buck, but it objectively wasn't very good.

I came into this crisis siding with 99¢ Fresh Pizza. There is something I like about them. They are the scrappy underdog. Famous Original Ray's is the shitty bully. I have unabashedly harshed on FOR since the beginning of Slice Harvester for serving shit pizza, and I have always backed 99¢ Fresh as a model that I like. At least they are trying at a populist approach to food, even if they fall short. But I have to admit, even as an virulent Ray's basher and ardent 99¢ Fresh supporter, Ray's wins this one by a long shot. I am thinking about the slice I had there today and it was actually GOOD. I think it might've been the first good slice I've ever had at a Famous Original Ray's.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hot & Crusty: "I think this pizzeria is named after my friend DPG."

Last week I had the pleasure of going out and eating pizza with my good friends Matthew Hamilton and Noah Mayers. You may remember Noah from almost exactly a year ago when we went pizza eating after working as puppeteers at the 33rd Three Kings Day Parade at Museo Del Barrio. We actually went again this year and I will post a rare photo of us. I may take it down soon, to maintain my anonymity:

That's me in the green with the fruit and twig crown and Noah in the blue with the white beard. Photo from .

Anyway, this is not about me and Noah, because I've already introduced him last year. He is awesome and my close friend. Now is the time for me to introduce one of my best friends, Matthew Goddamn Hamilton of Chattanooga, TN. Me and Matthew met on Sept. 12, 2011 on a rooftop in Crown Heights, both kind of freaking out a little, and we've been best friends ever since. I really respect and appreciate him for a lot of reasons and maybe I'll get into them in some more detail in subsequent posts. For now, it's time to talk about pizza.

 Our first stop was , an international oogle tourist attraction! Every summer head to New York City to nod out in Tompkins Square Park and take goofy pictures standing in front of the Hot & Crusty sign, to post on their Friendster profiles, although I can't think of a single oogle friend who has actually gone inside there. But maybe they should! The pizza here is absolutely unoffensively, middle-of-the-road mediocre, but they have a deal where you get two slices and a soda for $2.99! You can spange that in like, an hour! Go forth, young punks, when you are broke and can't find anything decent to dumpster, and get thee a hot slice!

Like I said up there, this slice is totally mediocre. Cheap ingredients, too salty, and not cooked enough, it was still totally unoffensive. One slice costs $2.75 and that is a total scam, but two and a soda for $2.99 is the deal of the century. So don't go here if you like pizza but do go here if you are broke and hungry.


Hot & Crusty - $2.75 (2 & a soda for $2.99)
400 E 14th St (@ 1st Ave)
New York, NY 10009

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pizza Mercato: "A pleasant surprise from an old standby."

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I went pizza eating alone. It was actually a really nice time, and I think I'm going to do it more often. In this hustley-bustley city, I rarely, if ever, spend some quality time by myself, unless I'm on my bicycle, and then I'm usually commuting to or from somewhere, even then I'm oftentimes riding with someone else. But walking around the city alone on a chilly winter day gave me lots of room to think and assess, especially immersing myself in the panic of last-minute holiday shoppers and end-of-semester students.

It's fitting that my first stop on this lonesome day was , as I have eaten many a lonely slice there. It was a favorite of the punks, if we managed to venture East of Broadway, because of the incredible two-slice deal. Back then it was two slices and a small soda for $3.00. The price has gone up to $3.95, but that's still a hell of a deal. I haven't been there in 4 or 5 years, probably, but I remember the pizza being an awful mess. Too brittle, covered in cornmeal, dry as a bone, just like the other Pizza Mercato that I already reviewed!  But still, two slices and a rootbeer for $3.00 was hard to pass up, especially after the average slice price went up to $2.00 and Mercato's deal stuck. What a bargain!

Maybe the management read my review of their other joint, and this change is recent, but in the years since I have been here, the pizza has improved from Tolerable to Barely Good. This slice was not super cornmealy and it had great ratios. It was cooked to have a decent crunch, there was enough elasticity in the cheese, and a perfect amount of grease! Still, there was something lingeringly lackluster about the whole thing, but I couldn't figure out what it was until I got to the final bites, where the cheese had run its course and there was only crust and sauce. It was the sauce. The sauce, which I couldn't taste for the bulk of the slice (thank goodness), tasted totally paste-y! Yuck! Pee-yew! Gezundheit!


Pizza Mercato - $2.25
11 Waverly Pl (at Mercer)
New York, NY 10003

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Pizza Pub: "I can't believe I kind of like this place."

When Dan and me approached this place, I walked up to those teenagers and said, "Hey, just so you know, I'll be taking a picture of this pizzeria in a few moments, so if you don't want to be in it, do you mind getting outta here for a few seconds?" And then the boy on the right said, "Oh we're alllll up in it." And made some kind of sexual gesture at me. Okay, little dude. Every time I start liking kids again, I run into some teenagers and get bummed about Larval Humans once again.

Speaking of kids, I want to officially rescind the statement from the inside back cover of Slice Harvester #2 which said, "Slice Harvester is Pro-Death and Anti-Birth!" I was in kind of a sour mood that day, and some bullshit yuppies and their entitled shit kids where running rampant in the Staples I was in making photocopies. But we are approaching the death day of a very dear friend of mine right now, (and in fact, he died the night Barack Obama got elected so I always kind of consider Election Day to be the day to get sad and then I realize that the date of Election Day changes every year), and I am reassessing how worthwhile it is for me to joke around about stuff like that. So even though I think we can take it as a given that I am not actually "Pro-Death," and was obviously just "freakin' out squares," I'd still like to rescind that statement.

And I have quite a few reasons not to be "Anti-Birth" either. Like all of my friends' beautiful children. Or more recently, a blog written by a friend of a friend's 9 year old son that is absolutely so amazing. So yeah, I still won't advocate that people should keep breeding, because fuck the senseless reproduction of our horrid species. But like, don't feel bad about having a kid or something, because that kid might be awesome!

Anyway, enough hippie crap, on to (not to be confused with )! This is the first pizza place I've been to that has a full bar, although that one place in the basement of Penn Station had more draft beers. The pizza here was not very good, but it did cause me to make a new "tag" for my entries, which is the "Great Deal" tag. This tag will be applied to any slice with a rating of 4 or higher that is a great deal, either because of the size, the price, or as is the case here, because of the things you can get with a slice.

Tacky design and corny atmosphere aside, an entire pie and a pitcher for $24 is kind of a great deal! That's a slight buzz and a decent meal your you and a friend for fourteen bucks each if you each tip $2 because you aren't barbarians.

This slice was a major 'meh'. It was really thin and insubstantial, and didn't quite have enough sauce. But the sauce was good and the dough was good quality and the cheese was good and it was cooked well. Dan said, "this is acceptable, but it's not really blowing my mind," which I think pretty much sums it up. I was totally happy to eat here and had we been drinking, I would've been happier to drink a pitcher with Dan, split a whole pie, and talk endless shit about the world.


The Pizza Pub - $2.00
294 3rd Ave (22nd & 23rd)
New York, NY 10010
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