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Showing posts with label Alphabet City. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alphabet City. Show all posts

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Solo Pizza: "Maybe I will get a takeout slice from here when I go see Big Momma's House 3."


. Nothing special here. I had high hopes for this place because it seemed legit. A little too clean and new for my tastes, but the pizzaman seemed right and the slices looked good. Bill thought the same thing. But when we got our slice, (which I failed to photograph, fucking sue me), something was very wrong.
"Something is off here, guys," I began, "this doesn't taste right."
Steve said, "it almost tastes like a veggie burger."
"I was thinking more like a mozzarella stick," Bill added.
"I don't know," I said, "I think it might taste some kind of chemical flavor, like oven cleaner."
"Don't say that!" Bill looked a little alarmed. And we all looked contemplative as we kept chewing our bites, staring off out the windows.
Then it suddenly hit me, "MOVIE THEATER POPCORN!"
"Huh?" said the guys.
"MOVIE THEATER POPCORN. THIS SLICE TASTES LIKE MOVIE THEATER POPCORN."
Everyone took another bite and agreed.

This slice tastes like movie theater popcorn.

Rating:


Solo Pizza - $2.50
27 Ave B (2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10009

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lebrini's Pizzeria


on Ave C used to be called Full Moon or Moon Pie or something. I had a slice there once a few years ago when I used to catsit for this guy who lived in a condo. It was my first look behind the scenes at the gentrification of the LES. Homeboy was a nice dude, but he was this total yuppie who lived in this crazy condo studio in a neighborhood at had thought was ONLY FULL OF PUNX when I was in high school. Anyway, I ate a slice at the old place one time when I was catsitting for this guy, and if I remember correctly, it was pretty good! And if my memory serves me correct, Lebrini's is a step down.


This slice was just barely not BAD. It was undercooked, had totally unexceptional sauce and too much cheese, though the cheese was good quality. The heel was a little too bready and the crust wasn't crunchy enough, but it kind of reminded me and Bill of school pizza, so we we vaguely into it for sentimental reasons. Ultimately, you may as well pass this place up, but it's not HORRENDOUS.

Rating:


Lebrini's Pizzeria - $2.50
31 Ave C (2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10009

Friday, February 18, 2011

Original Mom's Pizza Burgers Fried Chicken Gyros: "I wanna hang out here all the time."



is basically like a Crown Fried Chicken and I totally love it! It is this totally grimy joint on Avenue D and Houston that has kind of weird pizza but is awesome. Our table we sat at was totally crooked, there was an obvious cigarette smell wafting out of the kitchen, the employees were these older Puerto Rican dudes listening to Cindy Lauper, and they had decent coffee. Plus their slice is two dollars and they are open until midnight. Seriously, this place was so rad to be inside. The guys working behind the counter knew everyone that came in by name except for us. This is kind of like Johnny's uptown except instead of the Perfect Pizzeria it is the Timeless Urban Greasy Spoon. I will definitely be returning, but I probably won't bother with the pizza again.


This slice was BIG. Definitely a huge slice for $2.00. But it wasn't cooked very well. There was a tangible layer of raw dough just hanging out in the middle of the slice. And it was really salty. Me and Bill thought it tasted like school lunch pizza. A few bites in I said I thought it tasted like Elio's or any other brand of supermarket pizza, but Steve and Bill just screwed up their faces and looked at me askance. "I guess, really, the only thing similar is that it's not cooked all the way. Because whenever I get those frozen pizzas at the supermarket I never have the patience to leave them in the toaster long enough and I always pull them out and eat them when some of it is still cold in the middle."

Whatever, this pizza wasn't very good, but I like this place a lot. And they do their advertising on a garbage can!


Rating:


Original Mom's Pizza Burgers Fried Chicken Gyros - $2.00
15 Ave D (2nd & 3rd)
New York, NY 10009

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bite Me Best: "What is going on with the name of this place?"

So, like I said yesterday, I met up with Steve again at noon and we went out to eat pizza. We got to our first stop, , and I realized we were a block from C Squat! So I called up my good buddy Bill Cashman who lives there. Bill Cashman is an exceptional gentleman and man about town. He pretty much only does awesome things all the time. On my birthday, he jumped out of a cab and came running up to , furiously pushing his way through the crowd of smokers among whom I was standing. I grabbed his jacket and said "Hey Bill, good to see you."
"Oh, Colin! Just the guy I'm looking for. Listen, I wanted to tell you Happy Birthday. I can't stay, but I made the cab driver stop in front of the bar so I could come inside and give you a hug."

That's a stand up guy. Making his ride home detour so that he could wish me a happy birthday in person instead of over the phone.

After me and Steve picked him up, as we were heading outside, Bill polled everyone hanging around outside C Squat about what pizzeria they prefer. Everyone said Bite Me Best was too yuppie and pointed over to Villagio. As we walked away Bill turned to me and said, "well, this place isn't C Squat approved."


This place was a total yuppie hellzone, C Squat stoop sitters were right. But it was really busy in there, and we three barely had room to sit down, so that was a good sign. But the slice they served me didn't look so great.


This slice was a little bit okay. Better than mediocre, but not by much. The cheese was delicious and flavorful. The dough was a little more dense and crumbly than I like, too biscuity, but it was cooked to a perfect crunch. The sauce was awful, but not awful enough that I didn't kind of enjoy this slice a little bit. Bill told me, "no matter what you say, I still back this place. It's open late. Many times I've come here without enough money and they've given me my slice anyway." And later on in the day, we ran into Bill's friend Popeye on C Squat's roof who told us that Bite Me was his favorite pizzeria and that their goat cheese and arugula slice are to die for.

Rating:


Bite Me Best - $2.50
700 E 9th St (at Ave C)
New York, NY 10009

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Mamani Halal Pizza: "This was actually kind of alright!"

SOOOOOO, on Monday morning at 10:30 am I was meeting this guy from Newfoundland called Steve Dejected on the corner of 1st Avenue and 14th Street to go eat pizza, right? I never met the guy, but he's friends with a lot of friends and he was in town from far away. Also, I later learned that he went to high school with a girl who pulled a knife on me in a park in Montreal, the only other "Newfie" I have ever met. And this dude doesn't have a phone that works in America, so at like, 9:40 he called me from a payphone and I missed it and couldn't call him back but he left a message saying he was still heading to the corner and let's meet up and whatever.

So of course, I'm running late, but luckily the trains are running super fast and I get there at 10:33 and start looking around when I realize I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE, and all of a sudden everyone has become a Potential Canadian. And then I start realizing, I'm not even sure if this person is cisgendered, maybe they go by Steve but look like a lady or whatever, so now I'm not just staring at all the bio-men coming out of the train station, I am looking at EVERYONE inquisitively like, "are you Steve? are you a Canadian punk?" And then there is this guy with this stupid scarf on and a peacoat and khaki pants and desert boots eating a pastry, but he's just standing around on the corner right by the subway and MAYBE IT'S HIM, right? Maybe he just doesn't look punk anymore. Lord knows I sometimes don't look punk anymore, although on that particular day I had a leather jacket on and looked punk enough that LES Jules called me "brother" when he spanged me, although his tune quickly changed when I didn't give it to him and he feebly shouted "YOU ARE A POSER!"

So anyway, I walked up to the peacoat guy, and I was like, "are you Canadian?" And he was! But that was the wrong question, so then I was like, "Are you waiting for someone?" and he looked at me like I was crazy, and so I was all, "sorry, uh... sorry. I haven't had my coffee yet. I just... it's just... I'm supposed to meet a friend of a friend on this corner and I have no idea what he looks like." So then I texted my pal Erick, and was all "what does Steve look like??" and Erick was all "Tall. Punk! Glasses... Classic 'punk kid on your couch' look. Patches, etc." And then I see this guy come ambling down the way in a denim vest and leather gloves and too-short pants with a baseball cap on and I was like, "this is my dude," and it was.

So then we started out to eat pizza, but check this out: every pizza place was closed! Because duh, who eats pizza at 10:30 in the morning? They open at noon. So we sat around Tompkins Square for a while and talked about stuff punks talk about, and then we went over to this one place on Ave. A and we got one slice there and then headed home because I had very special Valentine's Day plans with my Very Special Lady and didn't have time to spend all day hanging out with some Canadian I don't even know!

But never fear, fans of Steve. I am meeting him at noon today and then we are going to eat the rest of those slices we never got to eat on Monday. But we did get to eat one slice, at .


Okay, I think this place post-dates most of my tenure on Avenue A. I remember wandering past it a few times in the past couple years, but it definitely wasn't there when I was a yute, because it was San Loco in those days. Mamani sells dollar slices that look nasty but are actually pretty alright.


This slice was like decent pizza from another town. It is too thick, but the dough was fluffy and not too dense. And the ingredients seemed to be of alright quality. The cheese had a good elasticity and the sauce wasn't bad, the twin pitfalls of most dollar slices. I actually liked this pizza quite a bit, although it's definitely not a Crucial New York Slice. But fuck it, it's a buck. You're probably better off here than at Nino's, to be honest.

Rating:


Dollar Slice Rating:


Mamani Pizza - $1.00
151 Ave A (9th & 10th)
New York, NY 10009
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